Live and Let Live in the Gray Areas of Christian Behavior
- Jack Selcher
- Sep 15
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 16
Scripture does not speak about many issues on which equally sincere Christians disagree. How can we disagree on “gray areas” where the Bible does not clearly speak and still retain unity in the church?
When the Bible is silent about an issue, we are free and responsible to choose our behavior without looking down on or judging others who choose differently. The problem is that it is sometimes easier to please God than our fellow Christians.
Growing up in my church, I was taught that Christians should not drink alcoholic beverages. A preacher in my denomination once jokingly said that Jesus turned water into wine, but we would have thought more of Him if He had turned wine into water!
One of the smartest people I have known, a lawyer, tried to prove that we should abstain from drinking alcohol based on biblical teaching. He could not do it and be fair to the scriptures.
Paul describes the rule-burdened believer as weak in the faith. For example, the strong had freedom in Christ to partake of all food (Mark 7:19, 1 Timothy 4:3-4).
The weak had not yet grown to that level of spiritual maturity. They were still responding to the demands of the Jewish ceremonial law.
How must believers with different convictions in debatable areas treat one another? The strong must warmly receive the weak. They must not treat them as spiritually inferior.
That avoids spiritual pride, a temptation for the strong. In the weak, spiritual pride reveals itself, for example, in condemning the one who eats everything.
But God has accepted that individual. The weak believer must do the same.
In debatable matters, motivation is more important than behavior. Judging motives is God’s department.
Every believer is God’s servant. It is inappropriate to judge the work habits of someone else’s servant.
We are free to choose our behavior in gray areas. We are not free to impose our views, look down on, or judge believers who differ.
We must personally wrestle with gray issues. We should not let spiritual leaders do all our thinking for us.
We must be fully convinced about them (Romans 14:5). Then, we must keep our convictions to ourselves.
We should decide what to do based on Christ’s Lordship. We are seeking His approval. We want to honor Him in what we do.
We live for Him, not ourselves. Our relationship with Him is the key to life now and hereafter.
He must be the center of this life. He will be the center of the next.
Jesus purchased the church by His blood (Acts 20:28). His resurrection verified His claim to deity, His ability to save, and His universal dominion.
He’s Lord of both the dead and the living. To Him alone, believers must give account.
The weak believer is prone to judging. The strong believer is inclined to look down on the weak.
But God is the only true and qualified judge. At the judgment seat of Christ, the Lord will judge all believers’ works and motives.
In the present, we should judge our own lives, not others. That best prepares us to give an account of ourselves to God.
Rupertus Meldenius summed it up in a tract written about 1627: “In the essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty, in all things, charity.”1 What is your takeaway? See additional free spiritual growth resources for Christians.
God has empowered me to write His Power for Your Weakness—260 Steps Toward Spiritual Strength. It’s a free, evangelistic, devotional, and discipleship e-book. Pastors have used it in Malawi, Mozambique, and Zambia to lead 6,090 people to Christ and teach the basics of Christianity to 15,150 people. I invite you to explore and use it in your setting.
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