God’s Relational Directives Reduce the Friction in Christian Relationships
- Jack Selcher
- Sep 22
- 3 min read
Christianity that works, works at home. Relationships reveal the strengths and weaknesses of your faith.
Army life would be chaotic without a chain of command. God has His own chain of command prescription for relationships. Like oil, His ways reduce relational friction when individuals carry out their assigned roles. That humans rebel against those roles should not surprise us. The good news is that Jesus heals broken relationships.
From God’s perspective, a wife isn’t a slave. Colossians 3:18 tells her to submit to her husband. She puts herself under his leadership. She is open, listens, and gives herself to meet his needs. She is receptive to his values and vision. Yet, she is in no way inferior to him.
In a Christian marriage, Christ, not the husband, is in charge. 1 Corinthians 1:3, 7-9, and Ephesians 5:22-23 describe the divinely instituted hierarchy in the order of creation. It is based on function, not inherent worth. Submission is part of every Christian's job description.
Husbands are to be love initiators. They are to actively and self-sacrificially seek their wives’ well-being. Husbands who lead tenderly, gently, and sensitively discover that submission is less of a problem for their wives.
Children are not bosses. Christians obey God because they trust in His wisdom and love. A child’s obedience to parents should be similar.
Paul does not consider that parental orders might conflict with God’s law. Apart from such a clash, a child’s obedience should be total.
Such obedience pleases the Lord. The parent-child relationship trains the child to trust and obey the Lord.
Parents, especially fathers, are not to provoke or discourage their children. Parents should not make unreasonable demands or publicly humiliate children. They must treat them with love and understanding.
Children can easily become discouraged. They can conclude they are not worth much. Parents must accept them even when they make mistakes. They should praise them for the positive things they do.
In a fallen world in rebellion against God, you would expect that wives would not submit to their husbands, and their husbands would habitually put their own needs first. Children would frequently disobey their parents. Sin rules.
Are you surprised that is what usually happens? People can reject God’s relationship guidelines. But they are not free from the consequences of not following them.
Christianity that works, works at work. You have both an earthly employer and a heavenly inspector. You can sometimes make the boss think you are doing well when you are not. You should work to please the Lord, not the boss. That is a higher standard.
Employers and employees are subject to the same Lord. Therefore, Christian employers must treat their employees fairly and graciously—the same way Jesus treats them. The workplace is their mission field.
Christianity is relational! God’s directives are the oil that keeps the engine of your relationships working smoothly. What is your takeaway? See additional free spiritual growth resources for Christians.
God has empowered me to write His Power for Your Weakness—260 Steps Toward Spiritual Strength. It’s a free, evangelistic, devotional, and discipleship e-book. Pastors have used it in Malawi, Mozambique, and Zambia to lead 6,671 people to Christ and teach the basics of Christianity to 15,636 people. I invite you to explore and use it in your setting.
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