Why Forgiveness Is So Hard and So Powerful for the Christian Life

Jack Selcher
Jan 16, 2025
3 min read

Updated: 5 hours ago

Jesus on the cross with a dozen men around him and looking up at him

Summary

Forgiveness is difficult to give away, yet it powerfully frees the heart. It releases resentment without requiring forgetting or immediate trust and often unfolds as a process. God commands forgiveness because He first forgave us through Christ. Letting go brings emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual healing. Forgiveness restores joy, peace, unity, and purpose while shaping believers into stronger, more Christlike people who reflect God’s grace.

When Giving Something Away Feels Impossible

A gardener had an abundance of zucchini. He took a basket of the green cylinders to his neighbors. He rang the doorbell, greeted one of his neighbors, and extended the basket. She took two.

He said, “Take all you want!” With a smile, she promptly returned the two zucchinis to his basket. Some things are hard to give away!

Why Forgiveness Is So Hard

Few things in life are more difficult to give away than forgiveness. That is why forgiveness is so hard. Forgiveness is releasing our grip on resentment and hurt and asking God to heal the damage it caused in our hearts.

We don’t necessarily have to forget what happened. We don’t have to trust the offenders immediately. But we don’t hold their offense against them.

Forgiveness Is a Process, not a Moment

Forgiveness is a process. We keep forgiving until our emotions agree with our decision.

Why God Commands Forgiveness

Forgiveness is biblical. Once executed, it brings a host of benefits. Let’s consider thirty-two reasons to forgive.

We offend others and need to be forgiven ourselves.
Unforgiveness makes relating to our tornado of negative emotions unpleasant.
Those who offend us can change and be among our future best friends.

How Forgiveness Frees Us Internally

Forgiveness extracts the bitterness and resentment from our lives. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT).
Forgiveness without waiting for the offender to apologize frees us to get on with our lives.
Because people watch us, we are role models; some will imitate and forgive their offenders.
Forgiveness makes us more beautiful like Jesus, who forgave those who crucified Him (Luke 23:34).
Forgiveness frees us from wasting valuable time fuming about the offense.
We forgive because God forgave us. “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13 NLT).
We forgive because we love Jesus and obey his command to forgive (John 14:15).
We forgive because we are not God’s agents of justice to settle scores with offenders. That is His department. “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19 NLT).
Forgiveness frees us from the fallout of “I am a victim” thinking.

The Life-Giving Results of Letting Go

Forgiveness improves our relationships by overlooking the damage that sinful behaviors wreak, so we can move on in our relationships.
Forgiveness increases our emotional health by reducing anxiety, depression, stress, and hostility toward others.
Forgiveness improves our blood pressure, heart health, and immune system.
Forgiveness restores our hope, positivity, and optimism.
Forgiveness renews our ability to experience joy.
Forgiveness bestows peace of mind and peace with God because it stops our rebellion against His will and ways.
Forgiveness enables us to return to God’s purpose for our lives.
Forgiveness makes us stronger, more Jesus-like people.
Forgiveness stops us from hurting ourselves.
Forgiveness helps us feel better about ourselves.
Forgiveness improves our sleep quality.
Forgiveness softens us and gives us more compassion for hurting people.
Forgiveness permits greater flexibility in facing challenges.
Forgiveness is step one in restoring trust and reconciling relationships.
Forgiveness passes a faith trial, strengthens our character, and grows us spiritually.
Forgiveness reminds us of our failures and the need to be humble.
Forgiveness extracts negative emotions from the driver’s seat of our lives.
Forgiveness demonstrates our self-control because the offense no longer dominates us.
Forgiveness helps maintain unity within families.
Forgiveness eliminates the pain accompanying long-term conflicts with others.