Leading by Example: How Parents Help Children Own Their Faith
- Jack Selcher
- Jul 16, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
Summary
“Show how” is the most effective way parents pass faith to their children. Through personal example, everyday conversations, and wholehearted obedience to God, parents help children truly own their faith. Many young people leave Christianity because of hypocrisy, weak grounding, unanswered doubts, and lack of lived-out faith. Authentic, humble modeling of Christian life makes faith real, transferable, and lasting.
My father taught me to drive. He showed me how to eat a wide variety of foods. He demonstrated how to work diligently until the task was completed. He taught me how to look ahead while walking to detect potential hazards, such as poison ivy, yellow jacket nests, cowpies, and snakes. He taught me to keep my promises and many valuable lessons concerning the Christian faith.
The Power of Teaching by Example
He modeled all these behaviors. He did what he told me to do. He led by example. That is the most powerful teaching technique. “Show how” outperforms “tell how.”
Unexpectedly, I showed him how to fish after he made time for the sport at 66 years old. Our last trip together was when he was 100 years old.
Lessons Learned Across Generations
One of the first times we went together, we fished from a canoe in a local river. After the trip, I told his brother that he caught more fish than I did while doing everything wrong!
Applying the Show How Principle Spiritually
The “show how” principle also applies to the spiritual realm. We see it in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. The challenge is to equip our children to own their faith.
“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 NLT).
Parents are to teach their children their responsibilities to God repeatedly in many life settings. They are to teach them to love Him with all of their being and wholeheartedly obey His commands.
How Parents Help Children Own Their Faith
The best way for parents to pass the message to the next generation is to love and obey God wholeheartedly themselves.
Why Many Children Leave the Faith
Various studies identify why many children raised in Christian homes in the West eventually leave the faith.
1. Intellectual skepticism. They didn’t have a safe place to voice their doubts and questions before they left home.1
2. They were not well-grounded in the faith.1
3. They couldn’t answer the skeptics who challenged their faith.1
4. Their parents were not wholeheartedly committed to the faith.1
5. Christianity didn’t work for them.2
6. They prioritized other things.2
7. They never owned their parents’ faith.2
8. Their parents didn’t show them how Christianity applied to life.3
9. Their parents didn’t confess their mistakes to them.3
10. Their parents didn’t love them for who they are. 3
11. They witnessed hypocrisy in the church.4
12. Their culture permitted them to live in a non-Christian fashion.4
13. Their immoral behavior spurred them to turn away.4
Modeling Authentic Christianity at Home
Children learn most powerfully when parents admit mistakes, love unconditionally, and consistently live out their faith in everyday life. Authentic, visible devotion helps faith become real, personal, and enduring.
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